In fact, you may have a very hard time getting this person to accept that their lying is even a problem, let alone something in need of therapy. Someone who consistently lies to you is a form of disrespect––not someone you want to trust or consider to be a true friend. What do you do if the pathological liar is your grown child and you can’t “end” that relationship? He is the only one like that, my other three children are not like that. For example, your co-worker tells a story that sounds familiar to you, but you’re unsure where you’ve heard it before.

Difference between a pathological and compulsive liar

You simply disagreed with them about their absurd claim that the sky is red and now your entire childhood, family, friends, career and lifestyle choices have come under attack. That is because your disagreement picked at their false belief that they are omnipotent and omniscient, resulting in a narcissistic injury. While we all engage in projection to some extent, according to Narcissistic Personality clinical expert Dr. Martinez-Lewi, the projections of a narcissist are often psychologically abusive. Instead of admitting that self-improvement may be in order, they would prefer that their victims take responsibility for their behavior and feel ashamed of themselves. This is a way for a narcissist to project any toxic shame they have about themselves onto another.

Of The Most Common Lies Sociopaths And Narcissists Tell, Translated Into Truth

This is exactly how propaganda is spread — repeat something long enough and people start to believe it. Keep in mind that pathological liars typically exaggerate everything they tell you so take their stories with a grain of salt. If your “friends” are believing only one person without hearing the truth from you or your side of the story, then they probably were not the best type of friends to have around in the first place.

This could just be the ones I happen to know, this area, whatever group of people etc. I am not sure of the raw statistics but it’s interesting, no doubt. I’ve read studies that say men lie about 25 to 35 per cent more than women.

While this article explores the main signs of disrespect in a relationship, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation. Self-preservation may also cause a person to be a liar. The obvious way to deal with a compulsive or pathological liar is to avoid dealing with them at all.

Whatever the reason, some people become masters at lying, and they trick you into believing even their lies are the truth. The girl messaged me a few months later and they were still sleeping together. We went through an abortion together and he deleted the other girl out of his life. It led to more drugs and finally he went back to school and told me he couldn’t be with me anymore.

Yes, I am a toxic person myself, that’s why I do my best to quarantine myself from other humans. Because people are bitches and can’t deal with their honesty. If lying has been made habit, it means they have done it a lot. If you hear a lie, where the truth has no consequence, you can never trust another word out of their mouth. Nevertheless, a healthy, fulfilling romantic relationship with someone who has BPD is possible; in fact, some people are attracted to the emotionality, intensity, and excitement of such a relationship. Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals.

How to Deal With a Lying Boyfriend

The person with BPD monitors their own symptoms and skills application, and their coach tracks their progress. Rather than making the person with BPD feel as though their emotions aren’t valid or important, DBT teaches skills to help the person cope with them in healthy, productive ways. When talking to the person with BPD, stay as calm and unemotional as you can. Address the lie directly with facts, not emotion.

If you want to let him go, then you need to allow your self-identity to change. Instead of seeing yourself as his wife or girlfriend, you need to start seeing yourself differently. The best, healthiest way to do this is to figure out who you want to be.

Other conditions, such as borderline personality disorder, may also lead to frequent lies, but the lies themselves are not considered pathological. Finally, some people simply lie pathologically but have no other conditions. Some signs of a pathological liar are challenging for the average person to catch. In a lot of cases, their lies are “white lies.” For many of us, these are used to avoid causing someone undue hurt or to avoid a confrontation. If you think your boyfriend is lying, confirm that he is by paying attention to his tone of voice and body language, since people who lie often avoid eye contact or stammer.

They project a different image of themselves to the world which contradicts who they really are within. They often speak in absolutes, claiming that they would never lie to you or cheat on you. They overemphasize their trustworthiness because they know their character is hollow. Beware of the grandstanding narcissist who deals in contradictions and hypocrisy.